DID A HORRIBLE HORRIBLE PERSON MAIL YOU GLITTER RECENTLY?
HAVE PEOPLE BEEN TELLING YOU YOU’RE GLOWING LATELY?
YOU MAY HAVE GLITTERRHEA!
GLITTERRHEA IS A SERIOUS & CONTAGEOUS GLITTER INFECTION THAT MAY LEAD TO LONG TERM PSYCHOLOGICAL EFFECTS IF IT’S NOT TREATED IN TIME. IF YOU OR A FRIEND ARE SUFFERING, WE CAN HELP!
BUY ONE OF OUR SERVICES:
BASIC / $45
GLITTER-EATING SNAILS
THIS RARE SPECIES OF SNAIL FEASTS ONLY ON GLITTER. EACH PACKAGE COMES WITH 3. SAFE TO USE ON FACE, AND OTHER PARTS OF YOUR BODY IF YOU’RE INTO THAT STUFF.
PREMIUM / $150
GLINT ROLLER
GLINT: NOUN: A SMALL FLASH OF LIGHT. THIS LINT ROLLER USES PATENTED TECHNOLOGY SPECIALLY DEVELOPED AFTER THE JANUARY 2015 GLITTER BOMB ATTACKS.
ULTRADOPE / $650
THE TWINKLE TRASHERS
A TEAM OF 3 EXPERTS DEVOTED TO REMOVING EVERY LAST PIECE OF GLITTER FROM YOU & YOUR STUFF. EQUIPPED WITH SPECIAL MICRO TWEEZERS!
WANNA CHEER UP A GLITTER BOMB VICTIM?
BUY THEM A BROCHURE!

BUY A BROCHURE AND WE'LL ANONYMOUSLY MAIL IT TO YOUR FRIEND -- OR TO THE ENEMY YOU GLITTER BOMBED EARLIER, LOL! EVEN BETTER! JUST FILL OUT THE FORM BELOW.
Friend's Name
Street
City
State/Province
Zip/Postal Code
Country
TESTIMONIALS
GOT A TESTIMONIAL?
SUBMIT TO:
[email protected]